On the sliding scale of queer-phobia

We’re only two weeks into 2019, but I've already seen numerous abhorrent stories of violence against LGBTQ folks dance across my dashboard. I want to take a minute to draw some connections between these incidents, and talk about things allies can be doing to combat the violence facing the queer community.

These articles report on acts of violence that include a woman hurling anti-gay slurs at a gay man at a nail salon in Washington, a man at a Seattle Seahawks game verbally assaulting a married lesbian couple before sexually assaulting one woman and punching the other, Dana Martin, the first reported trans murder of the year, and the murder of a queer trap artist, Kevin Fret, in Puerto Rico, Chechnya's resumed (continued?) purge of LGBTQ people. And, lastly, the sexual assault of a transgender woman at a bar that is only one mile away from my house.

In 2019, if we have not already, we must push back hard against the urge to chalk these instances up to "a few bad eggs". Oppression exists, more or less, as a pyramid, with small acts of bias followed closely by acts of prejudice, bigotry, and discrimination (the woman in the nail salon and the man at the football game), violence (the Raleigh trans woman, Kevin Fret, Dana Martin), and then at it's peak, genocide like we're seeing in Chechnya.

We must intervene in this mechanism earlier. And when I say "we" I really mean *you*, allies. It is not enough to say our names once we're gone, or arrest our abusers after we're harmed. Fight for us while we're still here, before we're berated, or beaten, or raped. Those of you who will likely not be in immediate danger when you speak up: call someone out for a transphobic joke, or confront your friend who insists that it is trans people who are threats in bathrooms. Engage in conversations with them. Direct them to resources. Ask them questions that force them to analyze and critique their own prejudices.

And yes, keep pushing for change at a systemic level. Elect folks committed to liberation and justice. Vote against legislation that keeps queer and other marginalized folks out of the ballot boxes (like voter ID laws). But also please commit to understanding the system better. To learning how the system you're trying to change with votes and candidates is held up, too, by the people who live within it. Read queer scholars like Dean Spade and listen to why marriage equality is not the ultimate victory, and try to understand why so many queer folks are wildly uncomfortable with hate crime legislation. But talk to your friends! Or your dad, or grandma, or kids. Talk to your church. Commit, in 2019, to living out what it means to be an ally. We're counting on you.